Friday, October 17, 2008

Is An Error Ending?

It's been a quiet summer here in Outer Doublewidistan. Lord Double Wide hasn't been seen much the last couple months. He shows up once a week for a short stretch then takes off again. Halfway house for the criminally stupid? 

Little Dick vanished around early August and hasn't been seen at all. Until today. Pulling a long flat bed trailer, Little Dick showed up, and he and DW are currently loading furniture onto it. (Will they be smart enough to bungee it all on? Hmmm.) So it would seem that Little Dick will be woot-wooting elsewhere permanent-like. Does this mean DW is also moving on to a genuine trailer park, after experiencing the relative luxury of indoor plumbing and glass windows? Unknown.

I feel … not sad. Not regretful either. It's like having a hideous growth on your face—a massive mole with hair growing out of it that attracts gnats and beetles looking to lay eggs. You've always hated it because of the taunting from children, the elderly, and maliciously trained parrots, but it's a part of you. But then, when completing your gender reassignment surgery, you figure, what the hell, take off the big mole, too. And then you look into the mirror and it's no longer there. You're not unhappy, but it's unfamiliar, too. Yeah, I think that analogy works perfectly.

If Count Double Wide is going, I'll be sure to let everyone know. Make a final post and all, turn out the lights, and try to get my security deposit back. Excuse me, it's dusty in here …


At 3:26 PM, Blogger Wolter said...

That analogy reminds me of the best work of Chandler.

Earl Chandler, a one-legged veteran who pumps gas at the Amoco in Monck's Corner, SC.

At 7:04 PM, Blogger Cletus Hookworm said...

Better than being compared to Koontz. That is, Dean Koontz the well-known hack.

And yet my hairy mole has decided to stay. Wasting Disease roommate has moved back in. Double Wide isn't there regularly, but he definitely hasn't moved. The golden age of Double Wide voyeurism seems to be past tense, but the possibility for fun remains.


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