Sunday, May 11, 2008

White Trash Homoeroticism in Contemporary Society

I feel bad. Literally a half dozen of you rely on my news and analysis regarding the sovereign nation of Doublewidistan, yet I have provided no news or analysis. I could blame the Doublewidistani people themselves, but I don't blame monkeys for eating bugs out of each others fur or hurling their poo, so there is a principle to uphold. So, to repeat, I feel bad.

To add some meat to these bones, I'll crib from my partial update in the comments of the previous post.

(1) DW regularly leaves the lights on on his car, leading to calls for boosts or cab rides. An additional observation from the past couple weeks: the driver's side inside door handle doesn't work. I assume this given that he always rolls down the window and opens the door using the outside handle.

(2) In sub-freezing weather this winter, the household pushed a friend's vehicle that was slipping on the ice and couldn't make it up the hill. This is only noteworthy because Little Dick emerged from the house without a shirt to do the job. No time to put on a shirt—there's pushings needing doings! Not only that, it's January and he's hanging around the house without a shirt.

This actually raises a topic that I find curious. Aside from the Skinny Effeminate Roommate, who looks like he's suffering from wasting disease, the guys in that house seem to revel in each other's near-nakedness. Now, I'm not homophobic in the least, but it strikes me as more than a little homoerotic for guys to hang out wearing as little as possible. And, given that this goes on even in the winter, they can't blame the temperature. What do they think about as they stand around, just in their underwear? Are they trying to impress each other? Is this some kind of primate dominance ritual? Seriously, why do a bunch of young guys living together strip down in each other's company? I really want to know this.

Two guys. One front yard. Clothing very optional. Admiration of participants mutual. (Note: the temperature that day was under 10 degrees Celsius.)

(3) DWD is no longer a resident. After a visit from Animal Control, DWD disappeared. AC called me maybe two months later to inquire how things were, and I said it was quiet since they took the dog. They said that they didn't. When I told them DWD was gone, they were bothered because he can't move the dog without court approval. So he was supposed to get yet another visit. No idea what happened re. all that. However, DW has adopted a second cat. Or it's taken the constant open door as an invitation to move in. The smelly old pillow has survived the winter, yet again. Winter after winter, rain storm after rain storm, it stays on the front step, ready for Doublewide to plop his exposed ass crack on it, maybe consume a meal, maybe just sit and stare into the void.

(4) The unanswered question remains whether DW has finally graduated from university. I think this was either year five or six, so it stands to reason that he's got to be getting close (stopped clocks and all). I don't imagine we'll know until late August rolls around and whether he starts heading out with a book bag over his shoulder.


Doublewide and Little Dick, who is amping up the cool factor by wearing a green faux straw hat. He might also be ready to start going, "woot woot."

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